Jonas does some solo parenting:

This past Friday through Monday I went to Arizona (Tucson) to see 2 good friends.  It was a completely delightful trip for me, start to finish, and the kids had a great time at home with Jonas too.

Layla had a very hard time anticipating me leaving, and she was pretty sad the first few days, but the second two I didn't hear anything from her by phone, so I knew she was at least in a better place, if not happy.  

Poor Layla got sick pretty much as soon as I walked out the door on Friday morning, but she rebounded in less than 24 hours, so her entire time wasn't in agony.  She would have been incredibly sad to miss ballet and swimming TWO WEEKS in a row, so thankfully we avoided that and she was able to participate on Saturday morning.

Here are a few pics from J's phone from the last 5 days...I took pretty much none, either by phone or by real camera, because I wanted to truly relax, not also be trying to commemorate everything.  It worked, and was awesome.  It also makes for a far less exciting blog, so sorry about that...

Right before bed on Thursday night Layla requested they take a "to remember you by" picture with me...haha.  It made me feel a little like they felt I was going to die on the airplane or something, but I was happy to oblige.  

Finn is working on a new pose when he gets time with J's phone.

Sick Layla taking a rare nap on Friday afternoon.

Cora using that time to raid Layla's dress up box and closet...

We are BIG fans of hand-me-down dress up clothes in this house.

...and he's back.

After swimming lessons on Sat morning, searching for her perfect completion prize.

Jonas took our kids to meet Noah and Vivian (Caron) on Sunday morning.  

Cora is wearing one of Layla's shirts...a size 6/7.  Because:  3rd child.

There was lots of crafting going on at home:

Finn in full swing.

Cora cooks:

Cora wanted to help get the bacon ready last Saturday morning...

Ta-da!  All done.  It got boring doing it slice by slice after a while.  :)

Third child down, drama at the library...and the Sneetches.

Last night Layla finally succumbed to the random illness floating around the house, and she also threw up.  It was around 12:15 a.m., and I'm just so gosh-darn thankful when kids can finally 1) wake up BEFORE they throw up, and 2) control their bodies enough to throw up in an appropriate place.  Hallelujah and thank you Jesus!  I don't ask for much, as a mother.  :)  She also woke up this morning with a fever, so we took a "sick day" from school and just hung out around the house.

Our ONE activity was to go to the library.  I had 20 book on hold for history, and if you don't pick them up within 5 days of being on the shelf then they get returned...and my availability to run to the library is somewhat limited.  So, despite Layla's illness, I decided on a quick run to pick up the holds.  Turns out there was some sort of free taxes service at the library, so the entire parking lot was full, and we had to park on a side street and hike a bit to get to the door.  After checking out our books we were about to leave, but Cora was being...well, Cora?  Age 2.5?...and testing my limits.  She wanted to go across the library by herself and play with the automatic door button and not obey any instructions from me about returning / getting on her coat.  I think my exact words to her were "Cora, you need to obey Mama, come back, and get your coat on.  If you don't there are going to be some sad consequences."  Que Cora running as fast as she can away from me, pushing the door button, getting it to open, then trying to keep it open, and getting her fingers stuck in the hinge side of the door as the big, heavy door from the library automatically closed on them.  SCREAMS and SCREAMS.  I saw this about to happen, so I was running to her, but I didn't quite make it in time.  The library is packed with all these people waiting for help on their taxes, and there Cora and I are sitting in the entry way, her crying like she's dying.  The librarians were freaking out...SO concerned. But the door didn't break the skin, and I saw her move the fingers some without any extra crying, so I was pretty sure they were not broken...just bruised and in a lot of immediate pain.  I felt really bad for her, but honestly?  I was also not minding that natural consequence, in one tiny, dark part of my heart...haha.  I know that makes me sound so mean, but there was no permanent damage done, and it was a consequence that had nothing to do with me!  Now, to be sure, I WOULD have enforced a consequence...but it wouldn't have been that dramatic at all.  Cora cried the entire way home, but after icing the hands for a while and some meds, she was totally fine.  Those 3 fingers that got caught seem a little bit bigger than the other hand, and I think there will be some bruising, but other than that I think she really is fine.  Which I actually am thankful for, as cold-hearted as I sound.  :)

Layla rested in bed the entire rest of the day because she was DETERMINED that she would not miss our event for the night:  Going to see The Sneetches at The Children's Theatre in Minneapolis.  Again, I know I probably should not have brought her out with a low fever, but I'm sort of beyond caring too much about that in this stage of parenting.  :)

The show itself was fine.  Nothing special, for me.  After the show the kids raved about it, but I'm honestly not sure if they actually liked it that much, or if they were just trying to make me happy.  I do know that it didn't even come close to how awesome Cinderella was at the same theatre, but whatever...they can't all be a perfect 10.  :)  It was still a fun night out with my oldest two kids, and a great live event.

I bought the book to read a few times before we went to see the play.
Half way through the play Layla leans over to me and says "Um...this all was NOT in the book."  :)

Two things:

1.  These noise canceling headphones are a must for him at loud events.  He fully enjoys them now, rather than always having his hands up over his ears in anticipation of loud noises.

2.  His hair is insane.  He needs a haircut every 4-5 weeks, minimum.  We were going to get that done today, but alas, sick day happened.

Some day, when Cora is less...preschool-ish...we'll go have so me fun at the MIA, too.  :)

Another one bites the dust.

Cora was much better today, but Finn came down with a fever this morning and even crawled into my bed (the *it* spot for naps around here, it seems) this afternoon while I was doing math with Layla.  Before I knew it he was sound asleep...poor thing.

The up side to being stuck next to Cora in bed all day yesterday?  I read an entire book.  :)  This book was a breath of fresh air considering our horrendous political actions as a nation these days.  Really enjoyed it...now if only there was someone I could discuss it with!

Sick baby

Cora threw up twice last night, and woke with a fever this morning, so she and I stayed home from church today and Jonas went with the older two kids.

Little Ms. Cora never really naps anymore, but she fell asleep at 11:00 this morning...a sure sign of the exhausting night we had before.

I know it's odd, but there are few times I love being a stay-at-home-mom more than when my children are sick.  I'm just so thankful I can be here for them when they are feeling so low and awful...and I'll admit that sick child sleepy snuggles are some of my favorite snuggles, especially from this one who rarely wants to stand still and settle down.

Here are a few pictures of the feverish, sleeping child.

Zonked out on Mama's bed.

The quilt she is sleeping under was made by my Grandparents.
I love having their quilts, and regularly seeing my family snug under them.

Present over Perfect:

Earlier last week/this week I read "Present over Perfect" by Shauna Niequist.  In the past I've tried to read a few other books she has written, because friends of mine just gush and gush over her writing, but for the life of me I could not get into them.  I couldn't even get past many of the first chapters...they simply did not pull me in.

This book I got from the library and read over the course of 3 evenings.  It's a very easy book to read, but very much circular thinking and train-of-thought writing, so you have to be okay with that.  :)  For whatever reason, this book deeply resonated with me.  She described a path I think I've been walking for a while, internally, and it only solidified many beliefs and convictions for me.

If ever a book was refreshing to me, this was it.  I could easily see how someone in a different stage of life, maybe a different personality even, might find it annoying...but I was tracking with her all the way.  She nailed it.

(Side note:  my favorite book of all time about parenting is called "Simplicity Parenting" by Kim John Payne.  This book seemed like the Simplicity Parenting philosophy for the grown-up soul, so in that way it makes sense to me that I would love it.)

Here is an excerpt from a chapter below, that I wanted to keep and remember.  I started going through and making bold all of the lines that I wanted to stand out...and then I just left it alone, because there were only 4 sentences that hadn't "lept out" at me...haha.  Enjoy a peak into where my brain and heart are these days:

Part of a chapter called "When Brave Looks Boring":

"Todd's one of those amazing people who's done like a million exciting things, among them, sailing around the world.  He told me that people use to always tell him, "You're so brave!"

He looked at me evenly when he spoke.  "Sailing around the world isn't necessarily brave.  Leaving real life for two years isn't necessarily brave.  What you're doing --what you're building--I think that's brave."

His words stayed with me after he left, after I tucked the boys in, after I walked through our little house, turning off lights, picking up toys, closing drapes.

He was right, I realized.  Brave doesn't always involve grand gestures.

Sometimes brave looks more like staying when you want to leave, telling the truth when all you want to do is change the subject.

Sometimes obedience means climbing a mountain.  Sometimes obedience means staying home.  Sometimes brave looks like building something big and shiny.  sometimes brave means dismantling a machine that threatened to overshadow much more important things.

We're addicted to big and sweeping and photo-ready--crossing oceans, changing it all, starting new things, dreams and visions and challenges, marathons and flights and ascending tall peaks.

But the rush to scramble up onto platforms, to cross oceans, to be heard and seen and known sometimes comes at a cost, and sometimes the most beautiful things we do are invisible, unsexy.

We love broad strokes, cross-country moves, kickstarter campaigns.  But brave these days is a lot quieter, at least for me.  Brave is staying put when I'm addicted to rushing, forgiving myself when I want that familiar frisson of shame that I've become os used to using as a motivator.  Brave is listening instead of talking.  Brave is articulating my feelings, especially when the feelings are sad or scared or fragile instead of confident or happy or light.

Brave is walking away from the "strike while the iron's hot" mentality that pervades our culture.  Brave is being intentional about taking your marriage from "fine" to "can't live without you" Because fine is not fine at all.  Fine is like a mesh sieve, enough space for all the important things to slip through, and all you're left with is to-do lists and resentments.

It's easier to be impressed with strangers than it is to be consistently kind behind the scenes.  It's easier to show up and be a hit for an hour than it is to get down on the floor with your kids when you're so tired your eyes are screaming and bone-dry.  It's easier to be charming on a conference call than it is to traverse the distance between you and your spouse, the distance you created.

Sometimes being brave is being quiet.  Being brave is getting off the drug of performance.  For me, being brave is trusting that what my God is asking of me, what my family and community is asking of me, is totally different than what our culture says I should do.

Sometimes, brave looks boring, and that's totally, absolutely, okay."



On a related note, but not entirely a clear cut connect-the-dots line, a friend posted this on FB today and I resonated with it very much as well:  https://markmanson.net/disease-of-more  There is some "language" in this, so don't read if it'll annoy you.  :)

Library

Today was just one of those days.  Wowza.  Rough mama day around here.  Rough Cora day.  The poor other kids got to deal with Cora and myself all day.  We needed a break, and I needed to pick up some books on hold, so we went to the library.

Mistake.

I love / hate the library.  I love getting books there weekly, and often max out my limit of 100 items checked out at a time.  I love the online system of ordering books that I don't have to buy, and can so easily just go and pick up all ready for me on a shelf, rather than searching for each book physically in the library.  The library allows me to homeschool for WICKED cheap.  Love all of that.

But I kind of hate going there with Cora, and sometimes my dear older ones.  Layla remembers all the rules and is the dream child, and Finn is quickly getting there. But 2-year-olds?  Yeah, I hate taking them to libraries.  Or, maybe it's just *this* 2-year-old, in particular.  She yells all the time.  Her normal talking voice is too loud for me.  I feel like all I'm doing is reminding all my kids to be quiet all the time.

PASS.

This is what they call insanity, right?  Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results?  Haha.  If I were smart I'd just stop going when I have to take Cora, because it clearly gets better with age.  Why am I trying to force something now that will simply be easy later?  Ugh.  Live and learn, man.  Live and learn.

Her hair is something else...whispy, thin...I have no idea what to do with it.
Other than brush it...haha.
It would probably be good to give her a short angled bob cut, but she wants long hair so bad!
I'd feel like the meanest mom ever to do that to her.
So she looks like this.  Haha. 

Finn has been taking some posing tips from Anja:

(All I can see right now:  FINGERNAILS.)