Earlier last week/this week I read "Present over Perfect" by Shauna Niequist. In the past I've tried to read a few other books she has written, because friends of mine just gush and gush over her writing, but for the life of me I could not get into them. I couldn't even get past many of the first chapters...they simply did not pull me in.
This book I got from the library and read over the course of 3 evenings. It's a very easy book to read, but very much circular thinking and train-of-thought writing, so you have to be okay with that. :) For whatever reason, this book deeply resonated with me. She described a path I think I've been walking for a while, internally, and it only solidified many beliefs and convictions for me.
If ever a book was refreshing to me, this was it. I could easily see how someone in a different stage of life, maybe a different personality even, might find it annoying...but I was tracking with her all the way. She nailed it.
(Side note: my favorite book of all time about parenting is called "Simplicity Parenting" by Kim John Payne. This book seemed like the Simplicity Parenting philosophy for the grown-up soul, so in that way it makes sense to me that I would love it.)
Here is an excerpt from a chapter below, that I wanted to keep and remember. I started going through and making bold all of the lines that I wanted to stand out...and then I just left it alone, because there were only 4 sentences that hadn't "lept out" at me...haha. Enjoy a peak into where my brain and heart are these days:
Part of a chapter called "When Brave Looks Boring":
He looked at me evenly when he spoke. "Sailing around the world isn't necessarily brave. Leaving real life for two years isn't necessarily brave. What you're doing --what you're building--I think that's brave."
His words stayed with me after he left, after I tucked the boys in, after I walked through our little house, turning off lights, picking up toys, closing drapes.
He was right, I realized. Brave doesn't always involve grand gestures.
Sometimes brave looks more like staying when you want to leave, telling the truth when all you want to do is change the subject.
Sometimes obedience means climbing a mountain. Sometimes obedience means staying home. Sometimes brave looks like building something big and shiny. sometimes brave means dismantling a machine that threatened to overshadow much more important things.
We're addicted to big and sweeping and photo-ready--crossing oceans, changing it all, starting new things, dreams and visions and challenges, marathons and flights and ascending tall peaks.
But the rush to scramble up onto platforms, to cross oceans, to be heard and seen and known sometimes comes at a cost, and sometimes the most beautiful things we do are invisible, unsexy.
We love broad strokes, cross-country moves, kickstarter campaigns. But brave these days is a lot quieter, at least for me. Brave is staying put when I'm addicted to rushing, forgiving myself when I want that familiar frisson of shame that I've become os used to using as a motivator. Brave is listening instead of talking. Brave is articulating my feelings, especially when the feelings are sad or scared or fragile instead of confident or happy or light.
Brave is walking away from the "strike while the iron's hot" mentality that pervades our culture. Brave is being intentional about taking your marriage from "fine" to "can't live without you" Because fine is not fine at all. Fine is like a mesh sieve, enough space for all the important things to slip through, and all you're left with is to-do lists and resentments.
It's easier to be impressed with strangers than it is to be consistently kind behind the scenes. It's easier to show up and be a hit for an hour than it is to get down on the floor with your kids when you're so tired your eyes are screaming and bone-dry. It's easier to be charming on a conference call than it is to traverse the distance between you and your spouse, the distance you created.
Sometimes being brave is being quiet. Being brave is getting off the drug of performance. For me, being brave is trusting that what my God is asking of me, what my family and community is asking of me, is totally different than what our culture says I should do.
Sometimes, brave looks boring, and that's totally, absolutely, okay."
On a related note, but not entirely a clear cut connect-the-dots line, a friend posted this on FB today and I resonated with it very much as well: https://markmanson.net/disease-of-more There is some "language" in this, so don't read if it'll annoy you. :)
